"Did you tell the doctors in Berlin not to tell me?"
Etrius looked up from his workbench. He hadn't heard Zoey enter.
Zoey stood just inside the penthouse, holding a folded piece of paper. Her ears were flattened, and her mechanical fingers had left deep creases across the document.
"Tell you what?"
"Don't fucking do that."
He set down his tools.
"Zoey-"
"I talked to the hospital in Berlin after we got back to the city. The records department. They said there was a disclosure restriction on some of my test results. Said it was requested by somebody accompanying me."
Etrius went quiet.
Zoey unfolded the paper.
"Maternal genetic comparison. That's what it says. They thought they'd found an old record of mine, but it wasn't mine, was it?"
He looked at her.
"No."
"Whose was it?"
Etrius hesitated.
Zoey's voice rose. "Whose fucking record was it, E?"
"Your mother's."
She looked down at the paper.
"Right."
Her tail shifted behind her.
"Right, so that's actually what it means."
Etrius approached cautiously.
"Zo, listen-"
"Was I born? Or am I just another manmade freak?"
He stopped.
"Yes."
"Like, actually born? Not grown in a tank or whatever the fuck they always told me?"
"Yes."
She stared at him for several seconds.
Then she laughed.
It was a strange, disbelieving sound.
"Fuck off."
"Zoey."
"No, fuck off. You're telling me somebody was actually pregnant with me?"
Etrius nodded.
"Yes."
She looked down at her abdomen, then back at him.
"And you knew?"
"I found out while you were recovering in Berlin."
"That was months ago."
"I know."
Zoey stared at him.
"You fucking knew."
"Yes."
The paper crumpled in her fist.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"
Etrius barely had time to brace himself before Zoey seized him by the front of his shirt and drove him backward into the wall. The impact cracked the plaster.
"WHY?"
"Because I thought it would hurt you," he snarled.
She shoved him harder.
"AND YOU THOUGHT THIS WOULDN'T?!"
"Zoey-"
"YOU FUCKING LIED TO ME!"
Her free hand struck the wall beside his head. Concrete fractured beneath the impact, showering them both with dust.
Etrius didn't try to overpower her. With her mechanical fingers twisted into his clothing, he doubted he could have escaped even if he'd wanted to.
"I was going to tell you," he said.
"When?"
He couldn't answer.
"WHEN, E?"
"I don't know."
Zoey stared at him.
Then she released him.
"Fucking hell."
She backed away, dragging both hands through her hair.
"You didn't even fucking know when."
Etrius straightened his shirt.
"You were badly injured. You'd almost died, and I didn't want to give you something else to deal with."
"So what about afterward?"
He remained silent.
"After I got better, E. What about then?"
"I thought it was better to leave it alone."
Zoey looked at him.
For a moment, she seemed unable to understand what he'd said.
"Better."
"Yes."
"For who?"
Etrius lowered his eyes.
Zoey shook her head.
"Un-fucking-believable."
She turned away, paced several steps, then stopped.
"Did she survive?"
Etrius looked up.
"What?"
"My mother. Did she survive having me?"
"I don't know."
Zoey nodded slowly.
"Did she know what they were doing?"
"I don't know that either."
"Was she one of their experiments?"
"The information I saw suggested she'd undergone genetic modification. I don't know the extent of it."
Zoey rubbed her face.
"Fuck."
She stood quietly for a moment.
"Did she get to hold me?"
Etrius felt his chest tighten.
"I don't know, Zo."
Her mouth trembled.
"Did she even fucking want me?"
He couldn't bring himself to answer immediately.
Zoey looked at him.
"E?"
"I don't know."
Her face crumpled.
She turned away, pressing one hand against her mouth.
Etrius took a step toward her.
"Zoey."
"Don't."
He stopped.
She stood facing the windows, her shoulders shaking.
"I had a fucking mom."
Etrius said nothing.
"An actual fucking mom."
Her voice broke.
"I could've had a family."
He swallowed.
"Maybe."
Zoey turned around.
Her eyes were wet.
"Maybe?"
He hesitated.
"We don't know what happened to her."
"Yeah, no fucking shit, E! That's why I'm asking!"
She wiped her face angrily.
"Fuck, I don't even know what she looked like!"
The tears kept coming.
"Was she nice? Did she have a family? Did she want a kid? Did they fucking take me away from her?"
Her breathing became ragged.
"Did she ever get to see me?"
Etrius stood helplessly across from her.
"I wish I could answer that."
"Yeah."
She sank onto the couch, bending forward with her elbows against her knees.
For a while, Etrius listened to her cry.
He wanted to sit beside her. He wanted to offer some reassurance, something that might help her make sense of what she'd learned.
But every answer he could give her would be another guess.
Eventually, Zoey looked up.
"Do you know what really fucking hurts?"
Etrius waited.
"I used to think about that shit."
She sniffed.
"I used to see people with their kids and wonder what having parents was like. I knew it wasn't something I could have, but I still thought about it."
Her expression twisted.
"I figured I was just fucking stupid for wanting something that didn't exist."
"Zoey, you weren't-"
"BUT IT DID!"
She stood so abruptly that the couch shifted backward.
"IT FUCKING DID, E!"
She grabbed a heavy chair and hurled it across the room.
It struck the display cabinet near the wall. He flinched.
Zoey turned on him again.
"And you fucking knew!"
Etrius took a step back.
"Zoey, stop."
"YOU KNEW I HAD A FUCKING MOTHER!"
She advanced.
"You knew there was somebody out there who gave birth to me, and you just fucking decided I shouldn't know!"
"I was trying to protect you."
"FROM WHAT?!" she roared, the pain in her voice more present than ever.
"From exactly what you're going through right now."
Zoey stopped.
For a moment, she simply stared at him.
Then her expression changed.
"...Oh."
Etrius immediately regretted saying it.
"Zoey, that's not-"
"No, I get it."
She nodded slowly.
"You didn't think I could handle it."
"I didn't say that."
"That's what you fucking meant."
He couldn't deny it.
Zoey looked toward the broken cabinet, then back at him.
"All those years I spent with other people deciding what I was allowed to know. What I was allowed to do. What they could fucking do to me."
Her voice grew quieter.
"And you decided you could do that too."
Etrius swallowed.
"I made a mistake."
"Yeah."
She looked down at her hands.
"Yeah, you fucking did."
He approached her carefully.
"Zo."
She raised her head.
"Don't."
He stopped.
Her expression hardened.
"I'm gonna tell you something, E. And I need you to fucking listen."
"I'm listening."
"You don't ever do that to me again."
He nodded.
"I won't."
"No. I mean it."
Zoey stepped toward him.
"You don't get another fucking chance. I don't care what you think you're protecting me from. You do something like this again, betray me like this again, and I will end you."
Etrius held her gaze.
He knew she wasn't simply talking about their friendship.
"I understand."
She stared at him for another moment.
Then she looked away.
"Fuck."
Her anger seemed to leave her almost as quickly as it had arrived.
She wiped her eyes again.
"Fuck, I just..."
Her breathing hitched.
"I had a mom, E."
He nodded.
"I know."
Zoey looked at him.
"And I don't even know her fucking name."
Etrius couldn't find anything to say. She stood there for several seconds, looking more exhausted than angry. Then she turned toward the elevator.
"Zoey."
She stopped but didn't look back.
"I'm sorry."
Her ears lowered.
"Doesn't change how much it hurt."
She pressed the elevator button. Etrius watched the doors open. She stepped inside and turned to face him. For a moment, her expression softened, and he thought she might say something else. Instead, she looked down at the crumpled paper still clutched in her hand.
"She might've loved me."
Etrius felt his throat tighten.
"She might have."
Zoey nodded. Then she began crying again. The elevator doors closed before he could say anything else.
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